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U P S I D E     d o w n s t a i r s    a cambridge comedy of manners
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"A Copper's Worth A Fortune Any More"    Music and lyrics by Cass von Braun.
Vocal to come


The scene is a disco bar in Cambridge in mid-afternoon. The singers are two police officers on the beat, recently demoted from detectives. They are in pursuit of Dean Don who has just fled the bar with Don Dean, his longtime friend and former lover of his wife Kate.

Kate is posing as a bar girl among the other ladies who populate the establishment of an afternoon.

Having missed their quarry, the officers pause for refreshment and sing sing about their evolving philosophy in light of the case that resulted in their demotions.

Send email if you'd like a copy of the lead sheet or if a different audio format for practicing the song. When you're ready, you can also get a version without the melody line. email casz

Here's the instrumental version of "Copper's Worth A Fortune Any More.


A  C O P P E R ' S  W O R T H  A  F O R T U N E  A N Y  M O R E

V E R S E  1
In the ebb and flow of natural forces,
It is we who keep them in their courses
Be they freshmen, sophomores, juniors or seniors
Such brilliance (over-rated) is a fact we don't ignore
For the world adores a sophomore and

Even a copper's worth a fortune any more
With churls and brats we must engage, and shall contest with sense
Now that we also hold master's degrees and investa-ments

V E R S E  2
If some local may'ave jacked the car of a visiting professor's
As for the stories, mind yours and -- above all -- do not press hers
Despite suspicious-looking substance spilling from her purse,
And to be fair, hysterics cannot curse any louder
So how were we to know it could be something called
A Goody's Headache Powder?

R E F R A I N  1
He said we acted stupidly. He said we acted stupidly?
Sure now, in't that a matter of degree?
While it's true copper's not the brightest, as conduits will go,
Yet we do move eas'ly above as we've always moved below
So they never see us coming but we're the managers now and find
Us unforeseen new managers need a little, middle mind

V E R S E  3
We learned a rule when we were lads: Sure there's never a time like today
For attempting something mem'rable toward gilding the resumˆ©
So sadly did we learn, so gladly we would teach
'Ere's a wide, wide world of dif'rence 'tween you and what ye'd hoped to reach
You must keep a weather eye for such storminess as brazen
Widespread tabloid jubilation, extended vacation

And severe unexpected torrents of thundering laughter
So try NOT to do something today [that the world talks of], [so the world mocks us] forever hereafter

R E F R A I N  2
He said we acted stupidly. He said we acted stupidly?
Sure now, in't that a matter of degree?
While it's true a copper's not the noblest metal in renown
If the lasses try to sass us, we get "up" and we "get down"
So we never saw this coming but as managers now assume
Us unforeseen new managers gonna need some big old equivocal room

Gold is golden, through and through
But when copper's on the outside, eventually it turns blue
But brains is over-rated, there’Äôs a fact we don't ignore!
When the world adores the sophomores, even a copper's worth a fortune any more

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